Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Hello everyone.

Firstly, like to wish Alexis and Alex a happy 5 month anniversary! :D

Went to meet the 2 irritating buyers Jan had to meet. met the guys in Toa-payoh and then mrt-ed to AngMoKio.

met the two girls, who are really good at acting blur and stuffs. whatever. at least Jan got back her money, and thus she treated us Burger king. LOL. no photos already, cause was too tired from hiking around in my heels yesterday. -.-

well, to whoever the 'Guest' is, whats wrong with my fats and my tattoo? they are mine? -.-

this is my blog, my freedom to do whatever i want. I havent offended you, so can you not be so irritating? :) but still, THANKS for reading my blog yea. :D

Labels: stupid killjoy.

what we could have been, 10:34:00 PM.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

hola peepos :)

Went to watch Mall cop with my mum and brother. it, was hilarious. However, not worth a movie ticket. I'd rather you go buy a dvd. :)

met Ramdan and Shuyi today. :)

Thanks for Alex, Shuyi and Ramdan for accompanying me to bras besah (?) to buy my math guide book. :D

and the rest, are a pictures of boredom. :D

my aunty bought me wedges/pumps (?) from m'sia! :D thanks lots!

okay, im just being retarded. -.-

look, there is my twin!

this is what jan always does to people. :P

well, i think im off to bed soon. tmr - TUITION DAY. :/

dont look forward to sundays. :(

adios everyone! :)

Labels: i'll wait for the right one.

what we could have been, 11:01:00 PM.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Hello peeps :D

photos taken today.

went to bras besah(?) to get my assesment/guide books, with Ramdan and Anson. Met up with Willy for a while. :)

Ramdan.

CANNOT TAKE IT. I LOOK SO FAT! o.o

act emo, Anson.

they must be thinking, "wth is anson/ramdan posing like? " hahas ;D

im batman, ramdan's robin!

i think i look constipated. -.-

here comes, Willy! :)

finally snapped a shot. LOL.

I am aiming to be

-> SLIMMER!!

-> More civilised (no vulgar, omg.)

-> um, slimmer? xD

hahas lol i dont know why, was like shocked at my photo that i look so fat. O.o damn.

Anyway, thanks to Ramdan, Anson and Willy for accompanying me to get my science book. :)

Feeling nauseous now, cause hungry until not hungry already. -.- stupid. need to sleep now, not feeling great. X.X

Labels: simplicity comes with no strings attached.

what we could have been, 10:23:00 PM.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The littlest things that take me there.

dont know why, dad havent sent me the pictures we took in Laos and Thailand cause he transferred all to his com due to the lack of space. well, in the trip, i finally know how a real couple should feel like, should love, give, take quarrel. but still remain as one.

No, im not saying my parents are a perfect couple. But imagine the distance between my dad and my mum. they get to meet every few months, and only for days at a time? otherwise, they only talk online every night.

Yet, they can still remain as though they were before my dad left. this lets me wonder, does the simplest things really make my mum happy? she keeps telling me, not to be so materialistic, which lets me think. How much does it take for her to not miss my dad, day and night?

I'm really thankful that they are my parents. though i have done many disappointing things, hurtful things, even venting my anger on them, they absorb it all. and tell me what have i done wrong in the end. they never gave up on me, even though i have attempted rubbish things time and again.

my dad and mum. :)

Maybe its just god trying to tell me, i dont know much about relationship. i am INSECURE, obviously easily JEALOUS and extremely CO-DEPENDENT. My teacher once said, why complain about other people when you should be complaining about yourself first?

I dont hate my teacher, nor do i think the sudden outburst is unfair, though maybe other than academic things are not so relevant. But this makes me think, how much do we really complain about each other?

I only know, i complain to myself that i am fat, about maybe twenty times a day, every time looking upon a reflection. This, the exterior, is all i am concerned about. i shouldn't, but yet i still am. I should really reflect. and stop ridiculously fantasizing.

Labels: time to wake up now.

what we could have been, 10:23:00 PM.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Love,

everyone is so in love with being in love. They forget about who they're actually "falling in love with". Stop forcing yourself to fall in love with people you barely know. If the right person comes along. You won't have to try. Everything will just fall into place. And it's okay to be a little lonely for now. It will all be worth while in the end.

Read the above from someone's blog. found it really meaningful! :) anyway, i just wanna say, whatever you think i feel about you, hatred and whatever, its not true. i dont know you, how can i hate you?

Well, im finally home from Laos. all i can conclude is :

- Mekong river is nice (is that in thailand or laos?)

- Laos is really dusty

- There are more flies and cows than humans there.

- the cows are anorexic (?) , they look really, really skinny.

at least i got to go thailand for three days, and went shopping! :) Life would be boring without shopping you know.

Today was the start of a new term. i, am practically drowning in school work. -.- went mac to study today, however not really accomplishing much due to all the lame jokes. :P

talked about the fact that when they see someone special, their heart will skip a beat / race / stop / and i dont know what else. well, i wonder how does the heart skip a beat? though i experience it, but im such a failure lurh.

i will like, totally space out for a while, brain going blank. this could really help if i was trying to get some sleep. -.-

well, gotta go dinner, before its too late then i cant jog already. >.<

toodles :D

what we could have been, 6:42:00 PM.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Hey all my darlings!

I'm gonna be off to Laos in about a few mins? LOL updating from the airport, because the sight of all the duty - free items are seriously tempting. o.o

Firstly, i would like to wish Ramdan a very happy, sweet 16th birthday, and i'm really sorry that im not around. :( take care alright? will bring something back from laos for you bestie! :D

Secondly, i would like to wish Daryl again for a happy 18th birthday! 18 is when you are finally legal to do many things lurh, like drinking and so. :P

I'm so gonna miss all my friends, and will update once i'm home ( that is if my internet is up). recently my mio died, leaving my housephone, tv and internet GONE. -.- sad case right.

Lol alright this is getting abit draggy, and im only gonna be gone for one week! imagine if i go longer. O.o must dedicate will already huh. :P

Take care all of my beloved friends, xoxo. <3

Labels: gonna miss singapore.

what we could have been, 7:13:00 AM.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Holidays.

Bet everyone is going "yippee" or "its finally here" that kind of stuff. well, this march holidays, i realised, is for catching up for overdue stuffs and all.

and the problem is, i will not be in singapore. o.o

so, my mood from the picture above, plummeted till the picture below.

because, i a very behind time, and need to catch up on alot of things. -.-

oh well, at least i'm going to Laos just to visit my dad, so i guess its less guilt free comparing to a shopping trip? hahas lol i'm comforting myself.

well, i have been considering between the phones like Samsung's Pixon, or Sony Ericsson's C-905 cybershot. hmm. gonna go to Laos there to see, LOL.

eh, my dad say there cheaper mah, so being a TYPICAL singaporean, im gonna go there and get my phone.

and maybe the new apple ipod shuffle.

the functions are damn cool, hope to check it out. :)

oh yea, since i would probably not update until i come back, which is like next sunday(?), i would like to wish Daryl - happy birthday! you've been a great friend, thankful to have known you. (: ( lol getting wierd. ) sorry no in SG on your special day, but overall i would like you to have an awesome birthday, and may all your dreams come true ya! :D

well, time to go sleep soon. tmr, school is gonna be a bore. with all the financial talk and no lessons thing, i feel lazy to go. -.-

Labels: drinking session tmr yayyyyy~

what we could have been, 10:50:00 PM.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Disappointment.

go wallow in your deception. because, you dont know what went wrong in our relationship. i am sorry i came into your life.

what we could have been, 8:52:00 PM.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Screwup.

1. i hate being constantly touched by this junior in choir. but he is a friendly person. how?2. i am confused, is my relationship turning into a friendship? 3. i dont like someone being overly possessive towards me. i need space to breathe and think!4. i am afraid he will hurt himself i told him we were better off as friends. he will really do things to hurt himself!5. i have a tatt, which i fear will bring discrimination towards me when i look for jobs in future.6. i have no idea how to remove it ; penknife or laser?7. i have to wait till i have money then can laser!8. my studies are dying.9. i need to find something to relieve my stress ; drinking, huhu-ing (which im supposed to quit btw) .10. i cannot put you out of my mind. but dont worry, you will just always be in my mind. thats all.
i'm totally screwing up my life. despondency. but i dont want to screw up other people's lives too. im really scared that he would hurt himself.
but i feel that we are really better off as friends. its not fair for both me and you if you have to face the facade i have to put up everyday. that will not be a relationship. that will be in self denial.
i've got to admit it, we hardly have anything in common. i love to read, while the sight of books make you feel like sleeping. i love modern music and chorale ones, but chorale ones are simply too boring for you. i love to spend time with my friends, but instead whenever there is school, i spend literally every waking hour with you when possible. i love my friends, even the guys, but you dont like them, and you have to make snide comments behind their backs. i love to know whats going on all the time, but you constantly have moodswings due to your sensitiveness and easy jealous nature. i love to be there for you, but the problem is, you have to have my attention all the time. you get all emotional when i spend my time on the computer and not talk to you. i love socializing, but you dont. if you realised, you are rather unsociable, and when people dont know you, its hard to talk to you. i love to express my feelings, but you always abuse yourself by punching walls and cutting yourself everytime we have a quarrel. i love express the likes and dislikes of mine, but instead you put on a facade and get hypocritical. whenever my friends are nice, you are okay. but whenever something happens, you'll try and get all ' i told you so ' kind of thing. i dont know what to do, but it dawned upon me, that your insecurities are drowning you. i am lazy, but i try to study, you however, literally gives up hope on your studies. i cannot even push myself, can you imagine the exasperation i go through when you dont give a damn? you already failed a year, and now you only have 5 subjects because you dropped 1. but do you give a damn? NO. with sudden realization, this are all too much for me to take. i want you to be happy, but what about myself? i can't bring myself to tell you because i dont want to see you hurt yourself. but tell me, what should i do?

Labels: i'm so sorry.

what we could have been, 9:21:00 PM.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Self-Inflicted